I’ve always known this one class of person…those who others immediately find both physically attractive and charismatic of personality. The ones people constantly fawn over, can’t tear themselves away from, and can’t keep their hands off of.

I’ve been in relationships…I know I’m worthy of love…but I’ve never been one of these people.

I can identify at least one problem - I’m an awkward and usually-silent socially-misfit fuck. In the 30+ years I’ve been trying to make my way through the world, these characteristics have resisted all attempts at change. Each attempt at course correction ends up in social disaster.

And yet, I foolishly find myself wishing I could get the kind of positive attention they do…

Of course, they never have to write out pathetic posts like this one, either.

@contrapunctus not sure if it brings some comfort, but I've absolutely enjoyed mapping and hanging out with you! Shall we catch up one day soon? I've by the way just mapped (remotely) quite some roads in north east India 😊😊

@jorieke Hey, what a coincidence hearing from you! 😀

I keep fondly recalling the time I worked for MSF. I was a whole other person in that time - utterly transformed, happy, extroverted, motivated… 🙂 Spending each day doing what I loved, making a visible difference to the data commons, getting paid to do it, and meeting so many lovely people while I was at it…it might “just” be a six-month gig for some, but it was the highlight of the past decade for me.

Absolutely, let’s talk sometime! Also, feel free to attend the OSM India monthly online mapathons I host 🙂 https://osmcal.org/?in=India

Welp. This was another classic depressive episode where I just flat out forget every high point of my life, leaving myself with just the lows 😅

I’m not sullen all the time. It’s simply that being unemployed for a long time makes me socially dull. Feeling needed regularly, being paid for what you like to do, helping people through it…they’re all one hell of a drug.

Astute readers will notice the same pattern of depressive moping -> sober reflection -> hope, in a certain series of posts on my blog.

@contrapunctus Thanks for sharing we're all with you.

Making friends and getting into relationships as a Millennial adult is extremely hard, it's the same story with all my single friends; exponentially harder if they're marginalized (disabled, queer, dalit etc.)

Making a sustainable living as an idealist in this capitalist hellhole is even harder. Best we can do is offset our participation in capitalism with proportional non-participation; otherwise someone else will have to pay for our idealism through their excessive participation in capitalism.

@contrapunctus I was not aware you were also hosting monthly mapathons online! 🙏 Time zone wise it is a bit difficult, but I'll join one of the upcoming months!! 😊

@contrapunctus and I'm so happy that you still cherish the work you did at MSF so much 💓