(1/7) I suppose #Fediverse isn't the place people are discussing #RobReiner. But after 36 hours of deliberating whether to say anything, I feel compelled. This thread will be long,but I start w/ most important part:
It's an “open secret” in the #FOSS community that in March 2017 my brother murdered our mother. About 3k ppl/year in USA have this experience, so it's a statistical reality that someone else in FOSS experienced similar. If so, you're welcome in my PMs to discuss if you need support…
(2/7)… Traumatic loss due to murder is different than losing your grandparent/parent of age-related ailments (& is even different than losing a young person to a disease like cancer). The “a fellow family member did it” brings permanent surrealism to your daily life. Nothing good in your life that comes later is ever all that good. I know from direct experience this is what #RobReiner's family now faces. It's chaos; it divides families forever: dysfunctional family takes on a new “expert” level…
I was not aware. So sorry you had to go through this! And thanks for the courage to speak up.
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Reply to @wouter (1/3)
I actually want to thank the folks at @lwn who made a conscious decision not to report the story. It was huge news in the town were I grew up, & at the time I really didn't want #FOSS press to cover it. #LWN took a really reasonable view: they covered Hans Riser's murder of his spouse b/c Hans himself was a FOSS developer, but since my brother isn't in FOSS, & b/c I wasn't involved in the crime, they chose not to cover it.
So, it became an “open secret”, as I mentioned.
Reply to @wouter (3/3)
I want to note that not everyone in #FOSS was as reasonable as @lwn was in the aftermath of my brother murdering my mother. At least six of my political rivals in FOSS attempted to use either — (a) the fact that I was clearly distracted from my work in 2017, or (b) the scandal of the story itself — as a tactical political tool/wedge.
I won't name names, but if you ever see me being more politically harsh than seems necessary to someone in FOSS, that's probably why.
Oh, geez, I just wrote something about mother to someone in a DM and used present tense without thinking. It's more than 9 years after she was murdered.
I also still have disturbing dreams (which often become full-on nightmares) where I'm talking to my mother and she's younger than me (the age she was when I was a child), and then I realize it's a dream and I tell her she's not supposed to be here anymore and she disappears.
😢
@bkuhn you're extraordinarily brave (for sharing).
I don't know what words to use for what preceded you sharing. Speechless at all of it. I had no idea.