(1/7) I suppose #Fediverse isn't the place people are discussing #RobReiner. But after 36 hours of deliberating whether to say anything, I feel compelled. This thread will be long,but I start w/ most important part:
It's an “open secret” in the #FOSS community that in March 2017 my brother murdered our mother. About 3k ppl/year in USA have this experience, so it's a statistical reality that someone else in FOSS experienced similar. If so, you're welcome in my PMs to discuss if you need support…
(2/7)… Traumatic loss due to murder is different than losing your grandparent/parent of age-related ailments (& is even different than losing a young person to a disease like cancer). The “a fellow family member did it” brings permanent surrealism to your daily life. Nothing good in your life that comes later is ever all that good. I know from direct experience this is what #RobReiner's family now faces. It's chaos; it divides families forever: dysfunctional family takes on a new “expert” level…
(3/7)…as 1 example: my family was immediately divided about punishment. Some of my mother's relatives wanted prosecution to seek death penalty. I knew that my brother was mentally ill enough that jail or prison *would* get him killed in a prison dispute eventually,so I met clandestinely w/my brother's public defender (during funeral planning!) to get him moved to a criminal mental health facility instead of a regular prison. If they read this,it'll first time my family will find out I did that…
(4/7)…#Trump's political rise (for me) links up: 5 weeks into Trump's 1ˢᵗ term, my brother murdered my mother.
My (then 33yr-old) brother was severely mentally ill from birth — yet escalated to murder only then. IMO, it wasn't coincidence. My brother left voicemail approximately 5 hours before the murder stating his intent to murder & described an elaborate political delusion as the impetus.
∃ unintended & dangerous consequences of inflammatory political rhetoric on the mental ill!…
(5/7)
…I'm compelled to speak publicly — for 1ˢᵗ time ≈10 yrs after the murder — precisely b/c of #Trump's response.
Trump endorsed the idea that those who oppose him *encourage* their own murder by the mentally ill. Indeed, he said that those who oppose him are *themselves causing* mental illnesses in those around them, & that his political opponents should *expect* violence from their family members (who were apparently driven to mental illness from *your* opposition to Trump!🙄)…
(6/7)…#Trump's actual words:
> “#RobReiner, tortured & struggling,but once…talented movie director & comedy star, has passed away, together w/ his wife…due to the anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding, & incurable affliction w/ a mind crippling disease known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME…He was known to have driven people CRAZY by his raging obsession of…Trump, w/ his obvious paranoia reaching new heights as [my] Administration surpassed all goals and expectations of greatness…”
I was not aware. So sorry you had to go through this! And thanks for the courage to speak up.
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(7/7)…My family became ultra-pro-Trump after my mom's murder. My mom hated politics: she was annoyed *both* if I touted my social democratic politics & if my dad & his family stated their crypto-fascist views.
Every death leaves a hole in a community's political fabric. 9+ years out, I'm ostracized from my family b/c I'm anti-Trump.
#Trump stated perhaps what my family felt but didn't say: those who don't support Trump are at fault when those who fail to support Trump are murdered.
Reply to @wouter (1/3)
I actually want to thank the folks at @lwn who made a conscious decision not to report the story. It was huge news in the town were I grew up, & at the time I really didn't want #FOSS press to cover it. #LWN took a really reasonable view: they covered Hans Riser's muder of his spouse b/c Hans himself was a FOSS developer, but since my brother isn't in FOSS, & b/c I wasn't involved in the crime, they chose not to cover it.
So, it became an “open secret”, as I mentioned.
Reply to @wouter (2/3)
I ask everyone, now that I've stated this public, that I *know* you're going to want to search the Internet for it, & you will find a lot. Please, please, keep in mind that the Police Department & others basically lied to the public about some of the facts of the case. I seriously considered suing them for it, but ultimately it wasn't worth my time. But, please everyone *ask me* if you are curious about any of the truth of the details of the crime & its aftermath …
Reply to @wouter (3/3)
I want to note that not everyone in #FOSS was as reasonable as @lwn was in the aftermath of my brother murdering my mother. At least six of my political rivals in FOSS attempted to use either — (a) the fact that I was clearly distracted from my work in 2017, or (b) the scandal of the story itself — as a tactical political tool/wedge.
I won't name names, but if you ever see me being more politically harsh than seems necessary to someone in FOSS, that's probably why.
@bkuhn That's a sad, awful tale. I'm glad you felt able to share it, and I hope that brings emotional relief.
@bkuhn thanks for sharing, lots of food for thought. i'm happy you now feel strong enough to share & in that way make something useful out of this tragedy. take care!
@bkuhn so sorry to hear this awful thing happened to you and your family. I hope that you are finding healing, and I hope we can learn some lessons from what you have learned.
@bkuhn what an horrible event, situation! It is impressive you are so strong with all of this!
When "politics" is something where one side is not trying to understand the other at all anymore, especially within a family setting, it is not about politics anymore, but also about a lack of trust, interest in each other's well-being.
I imagine the SFC people are already very special and supportive, but I hope you still have some close family members as well!